balik jepp .. xde feel Happy .. why ?

 .. Just a place where i can write , what needs to be told , whatever burns inside . One place for the flames to escape my inside .
One space where i can burn from inside .

A thought , a dream , or just a fleeting emotion . A place to vent , to prevent .
A moment in virtuality

To Love,

To Be Loved,

To Be…..

What is love?

Is it that feeling of fulfillment inside yourself when you’re with that person?

Is it the happiness you feeling seeing that one person you spend your days with smile?

Is it knowing that you can bring that happiness and same feeling to someone else?

Is it the good times and bad times that help you grow in the future to love even more?

Is it the sense of knowing that this one person is all you need for the rest of your life?

Or is it?

What if it was all gone tomorrow?

Where would you go?

What would you do?

Who would you talk to?

Whose shoulder would you lean on now?

Would you try and win that person back?

What would you do differently if you could do anything?

Would you ever love again like this?

How did I let it get so bad?

Were the things I did really that bad?

Why didn’t I listen this first time and maybe things wouldn’t have gotten this far?

Can it get better from here or is it over?

Is the love that once was, no more?

Can things ever be how they were?

Will I ever be able to bring that love back?

Will I ever be able to bring that happiness back?

Can I take away all the wrong and make it right?

Can I make that fake smile a real one?

Is me leaving the answer to the problem?

Since I’m the problem is me leaving the solution?

Will the happiness you once had be restored?

Will that smile be a real one?

Will the love in your heart grow again?

Will me not being there be the answer?

Well I have done a lot of soul searching and thinking and I think I’ve come up with what I think to be  the answers…………

Love is what you make it.

Love is a portrayal of your self.

It’s a commitment like no other.

It’s the happiness that you give yourself knowing that you brought that into someone else’s life.

It’s seeing that smile on your loved ones face.

It’s smiling when you wake up in the morning and seeing that persons face, and it’s when you go to sleep at night holding that person.

It’s making that person number one, before your self.

It’s everything you do, because love is a reflection of you.

And to answer the rest of how life would go on………..

Life and love will go on. Love hurts sometimes. Sometimes decisions are made that no one likes the outcome of, but they are decisions that have to be made. I know firsthand that if I could go back in time there would be plenty of things that I would do differently. There would be things that I would do and things that I wouldn’t do, because of what I know now.

In reality though, in the real world, I can’t go back in time. I can not go back and change those things. I can not undo the things that I have already done.

The damage is done, the hurt is there, the heartache is what is now.

Just the thought and knowing that is was caused by me is enough heartache for the both of us. Just knowing that I was the one to push you away from love. That it was my ignorance that caused or demise.

Is leaving the answer?......................

Honestly?....

 Yes

As hurtful as it is to admit that to the one person who I love with all of my heart.

I am the cause of everything wrong. I was the downfall to our relationship.

So to fix that and to be the uprising of our friendship, I have to go.

Maybe one day we will be together. Maybe one day.

Maybe then things will be how they used to be, when you used to be happy. Maybe things will be better and we will love each other even more. Maybe then I will be the man I once was. I will be more confident in myself, and not so content with myself. As I said before love is a reflection of your self. I was content with myself as a person with where I was at, which therefore made me content with where I was with us. Which in the end led to this. 

I’m Sorry

I am deeply and truly sorry for every wrong that I have done.

I am sorry for all of the hurt that you feel.

I am sorry for all of the pain you’ve endured.

I am sorry for bringing us to this point.

I am sorry for not listening.

I am sorry for making you shed the tears that you have.

I am sorry for the sadness you’ve felt.

I want you to be happy.

Leaving is honestly the answer to your happiness.

At least for now the answer is not me.

I wish I could be the answer to all of your problems.

You are truly my heaven sent angel.

You are my angel without wings and I will always believe that we are worth fighting for. For now I think you need the space and time that you’ve wanted.

Our love will always be there and will always live.

Just your one smile can brighten up a room, and the thought of you gone just makes everything wrong.

This wasn’t in my plan. But, plans change. And I have to let you go.

I AM SORRY

I love you

And

Goodbye. 

 bye .. bye .. bye .. =D